You only lose what you cling to ~ Buddha

NTS is a concept with roots in Eastern philosophical thinking. NTS is the idea of releasing attachment to viewing the self as static or enduring, and instead recognizing the changing and interconnected nature of existence. This can be challenging to contemplate if you’ve never had cause to consider it before. However, the true nature of reality is ever-changing, and we are part of that change. To hold an idea of ourselves as something we can fit into tidy categories or something we’ve ‘figured out’ can be the cause of real suffering because of the expectations that come with that way of thinking. For example, when I tell myself (and others) that I am always on time, then when, inevitably, lateness comes up, I am prone to not only the stress of being late, but the added pressure of how this doesn’t fit with the way I have organised my self-concept. If I view myself as the subject or focus of experiences, I may become more deeply upset or hurt when difficult experiences arise because I view them as happening to me instead of merely witnessing them happening.

In NTS thinking, we suffer more when we attribute more meaning or weight to those experiences we view as our own instead of recognising the interconnectedness of all of humanity, and understanding that pain for one is pain for all. Imagine a quilt blanketing the planet and understanding that when one thread gets plucked or damaged, the integrity of the entire weave is compromised. There is a module specifically dedicated to interconnectedness in this program where you can learn more about this idea.

NTS encourages us to drop the idea of self as a separate, neatly defined person, and instead, embrace an understanding of self as an ever-evolving part of the fabric of humanity. We are not alone, we are not fixed or static in any way, and we can be more free, more compassionate, and wiser toward self and others when we learn to view the world and our experiences in this way.

This way of thinking can be helpful as a first step toward self-compassion as it doesn’t require us to think of ourselves positively or negatively, but entirely neutrally, as witnesses of experiences. It is not always possible when we are steeped in the pain of an emotion or event to simply counteract it with a more positive thought or approach. However, we can always choose to pay attention to it, identify it, and hold it as something we can see or feel, without it necessarily defining who we are. For example, in experiencing the emotion of shame, we can identify with that feeling, or we can see and step back from it, acknowledging that it popped up, and then, with intention, decide what to do with it.