Welcome to Letting go. In this module we discuss what letting go of the painful process of grasping, clinging, or avoiding has to offer us. On the surface, we all likely understand that letting go of things we cling to would serve us well. So why is it so difficult to do? Eastern teachings suggest that it may be due to trust. In order to let something go, we must first learn how to hold it, and then trust that releasing it is the right thing to do. This can be especially frightening when we have no idea what the result will be. Letting go is not a passive process of giving up, but an active choice to let go of resistance and experience the intelligence of life.
All modules follow the same 3 part format. Part 1 is for grounding. Part 2 is for learning. Part 3 is for practicing. Along the way you’ll see prompts to check in with how this module feels, and you can use the workspaces provided to reflect (if it suits you).
Part 1: Grounding
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Part 1: Grounding -
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Take a moment to be still and ground yourself in the way you know to be right for you.
To get started, please choose an exercise for regulation and grounding. For this exercise, whichever option you select, try to notice what happens to your body when your mind tells it what to do. It may accept the instruction, knowing you are working from a place of safety and growth mindset, it may resist in anticipation of future discomfort. You don’t have to do anything with this feeling, simply notice it.
Once you have finished regulating your nervous system and taking control of your attention, you may wish to get a small ‘fidget tool’ or a pillow to hold. This can help with maintaining attentional control, comfort, and a feeling of security.
Part 2: Learning
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Part 2: Learning -
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning ~ Lao Tzu
The idea of letting go focuses on inner resistance and a process of allowing life to unfold naturally. This involves being present, in the current moment, to experience whatever thoughts, sensations, or emotions are involved. It also means noticing external circumstances while maintaining control of our own egos which look to constantly intervene and try to control outcomes. Letting go of the ego’s attachment to the mind’s constant chatter and emotional reactivity can provide a sense of inner freedom and peace that is inaccessible to us when we are dragged around by the ego’s need to control.
This may all seem a bit easier said than done! However, those of us looking to really experience life will have to come to an understanding that life is unfolding all around us and within us. If we get caught up in thinking that we can control it, we are wasting our time and creating unnecessary struggle in the process.
Letting go is not about not working to improve our circumstances, not eating well, not exercising, not engaging in our relationships. Letting go means paying attention to our motivators and learning how to differentiate between those of the ego, and those of the natural order of life. This is where trust can be established. When we learn to tune in to what is behind the motivation to grasp, cling, or avoid, we can learn to trust ourselves in letting go of it. For example, if we come to a relationship disagreement with ego working to control an outcome, we may be able to steer that outcome in a direction that feels satisfactory in that moment, or in that context. But if it isn’t consistent with what life is trying to offer us, we will miss the experience, the lesson, the bliss, the pain, and the love we might have received if we’d come to the disagreement with an attitude of openness to letting life give us what it knows we need.
This is a difficult line to walk as we are not working to become passive pushovers. We are looking to take the reigns of our own experience in life with greater intention and wisdom such that we can learn how to dial in to our motivators with so much clarity and trust in our true selves, that we can begin to allow them to influence how we engage with life itself.
Letting go, therefore, means letting go of ego, and allowing the part of ourselves deeply interconnected to the natural world to lead us. This is no easy feat, but with practice, we can start to tune in to how we might get closer to operating in this way.
Module Preparation WorkSpace
Before you start a practice within a module, it is best practice check in with your mind. This workspace will help you notice your own thinking and can help to guide family or other supports in how best to support you through this module. Your answers are likely to change a bit each time you come to this workspace, and with each new area of focus you decide to work on. Take your time. YOUR answers are the right answers.
Part 3: Practice
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Part 3: Practice -
This section offers descriptions of two different exercises you can try to tap into the concepts detailed within this module. Feel free to try one, or both, and see what suits you. One may resonate better than another, or one may feel more accessible today. Well done for taking the time and making yourself a priority.
Exercise one
In mindfulness practice, letting go involves acknowledging and accepting the present moment without resistance or attachment. Here's a mindfulness exercise focused on cultivating surrender:
1. Find a Comfortable Position: Sit in a comfortable and relaxed posture, either on a chair or cushion, with your back straight but not stiff, and your hands resting on your lap or knees.
2. Ground Yourself: Close your eyes if it feels comfortable, or soften your gaze downward. Take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax with each exhale. Feel the support of the ground beneath you, connecting you to the present moment.
3. Scan Your Body: Start by bringing your attention to your body. Notice any sensations of tension, discomfort, or relaxation. Without trying to change anything, simply observe and accept the sensations as they are.
4. Observe Your Breath: Shift your focus to your breath. Notice the natural rhythm of your breathing— the rise and fall of your chest or the sensation of air passing through your nostrils. Allow your breath to be as it is, without trying to control it.
5. Letting Go of Control: As you continue to observe your breath, practice letting go of any urge to control or manipulate your experience. Surrender to the natural flow of your breath and the present moment, allowing things to unfold as they are.
6. Acceptance: Embrace whatever thoughts, emotions, or sensations arise in your awareness without judgment or resistance. If your mind wanders, gently guide your attention back to your breath and the present moment.
7. Radical Acceptance: Practice radical acceptance by fully acknowledging and embracing the reality of the present moment, exactly as it is, without wishing it were different. Surrender to the truth of your experience, with kindness and compassion for yourself.
8. Open Your Awareness: Gradually expand your awareness to include your surroundings—the sounds, smells, and sensations around you. Notice the interconnectedness of all things and surrender to the vastness of the present moment.
9. Closing: When you're ready, gently bring your attention back to your body and the sensation of sitting. Take a few more deep breaths, and when you feel ready, slowly open your eyes.
By practicing this mindfulness exercise regularly, you can cultivate a greater sense of surrender and acceptance in your life, allowing you to find peace and contentment in the present moment, regardless of external circumstances.
Exercise two
A writing exercise can be an effective way to practice surrendering to the flow of life and letting go of the need for control. Here's a structured writing exercise to help with letting go:
1. Set the Scene: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can write without distractions. Set aside some time, perhaps 15-30 minutes, for this exercise.
2. Reflect on Control: Take a few moments to reflect on areas of your life where you may be holding onto a need for control. This could include relationships, work, personal goals, or other aspects of your life.
3. Write a Letter to the Universe: Start by addressing your writing to the universe, or whatever higher power or force you believe in. If you don't have a specific belief system, you can simply address it to "Life" or "The Flow."
4. Express Your Desires: Write openly and honestly about the things you desire or wish to achieve in your life. Be specific about your goals, dreams, and aspirations.
5. Acknowledge Your Limitations: Acknowledge that there are certain things in life that are beyond your control. Write about the areas where you struggle to let go and surrender to the unknown.
6. Express Your Trust: Express your trust and faith in the universe's plan for you, even if you don't fully understand it. Write about your belief that everything is unfolding as it should and that you are exactly where you need to be.
7. Letting Go: Write about your willingness to let go of the need for control and surrender to the flow of life. Express your openness to whatever comes your way, trusting that it is for your highest good.
8. Release: As you write, imagine yourself releasing any attachments to specific outcomes or desires. Visualize yourself surrendering these desires to the universe, allowing them to unfold in their own time and in their own way.
9. Gratitude: Express gratitude for the blessings in your life, both past and present. Write about the things you are thankful for and the ways in which you've been supported by the universe.
10. Closing: Close your letter with a sense of peace and acceptance. Thank the universe for its guidance and support, and express your intention to surrender to its wisdom and guidance moving forward.
After completing your letter, take a moment to reflect on your writing experience. Notice any shifts in your thoughts or feelings, and consider how you can cultivate a greater sense of surrender in your daily life. You can revisit this exercise as often as needed to deepen your practice of surrender.
After practicing an exercise is a great time to check in with your mind. This workspace will help you notice your mind, and maybe if anything has changed since you started the module. Your answers are likely to change a bit each time you come to this workspace, and with each new area of focus you decide to work on. Take your time.
